Introduction
Sheryl Miller had just failed one paper out of four in her chartered accountancy exams when the head of training at EY asked her a question she still remembers word for word: are you sure you don't want to just stay at home and be a housewife. She was newly married, nineteen years old, and had walked into that firm with more self-confidence than she would have a decade later. That single sentence is a small window into what it took her to build a twenty-plus year corporate career, several boardroom seats, a business, a book and now a portfolio of trustee and advisory roles, without losing the rebellious instinct that got her into trouble at school in the first place.
On this episode of Everyday Leadership, Sheryl Miller, chartered accountant, non-executive director, founder of Reboot Global \[CHECK: confirm exact company name\], author of Smashing Stereotypes \[CHECK: confirm full book title and subtitle\], and head of judging for the Black Tech Awards \[CHECK: confirm award name\], talks to Sope Agbelusi about what the corporate system quietly does to you, why boardroom conflict is rarely about your competence, why she is walking away from most of social media, and why learning to say no has taken her most of her career.
The Rebellious Teenager Who Became a Chartered Accountant
Miller describes her teenage self as rebellious, always questioning why, always pushing against the status quo, and frequently in trouble at school for it. She is candid that most of her school environment tried to quash that instinct rather than understand it. The exceptions were a handful of teachers who tapped into her energy instead of stifling it, including a business studies teacher who encouraged her and a group of classmates to enter a business competition.
That rebellious streak is also, in her telling, what kept her out of university. She calls herself too much of a rebel to stay in academia. Instead, at 14 she did work experience at an accountancy firm arranged through her school rather than personal connections, discovered she was good at the work, and after her A levels joined EY's accountancy scheme rather than going to university. Even the decision was partly rebellious: a refusal to follow the expected path while still choosing a route into business she had been drawn to since childhood, inspired by a television show about a troubleshooter who turned around failing businesses.
Building Corporate Armour: How the System Reshapes You
Miller did not realise how much the corporate system had changed her until she hit 40. She describes a roughly twenty year stretch where her speech, her dress and her presentation gradually shifted to fit in, so gradually she barely noticed it happening. In her first couple of years at EY she was told she dressed too loudly. By the time she left, she was suited and booted every day, cufflinks included, a look she describes as a kind of corporate armour she had internalised and then chosen for herself.
She is clear that this cost her something. The confidence she walked in with at 19 was, by her own account, higher than the confidence she had at 30. The corporate system, in her words, takes a while to beat that out of you.
Turning 40 and Refusing to Take It Anymore
A turning point came in her boardroom career. Miller spent time working directly for a CEO of a roughly 8,000 person organisation, sitting in board meetings, watching how decisions were made and, on one memorable evening, watching a senior director's security pass stop working the moment they were being fired. That exposure taught her how boardrooms actually operate, lessons she now passes on to people she mentors who are trying to reach senior roles.
By 40, after years of facing heavy challenge while presenting business cases, she decided she was no longer willing to take it. Her insight was simple but hard won: the people trying to find her weaknesses in the boardroom were not doing it because she did not know her subject. They were doing it because she did not look like them, and challenging her let them bolster their standing with their own group.
The Reality of Being "The Only" in the Room
Miller was frequently the only black person in rooms of hundreds of people, aside from waiting staff. Her strategy at the time was not to focus on it. She argues there is real power in that choice, because dwelling on being different can derail your focus and your delivery. Her coping mechanism, in her words, was to keep her head down and deliver her best work.
But she is equally clear that competence alone is not enough. However good you are at your job, she says, if you cannot build relationships with people and get people on your side, it is game over. That belief shaped the advice in her book: individuals need to reach across divides to build trust, while organisations need to make the effort to reach into their workforce and connect with the people who find it hardest to be reached.
One of the biggest lessons from years in senior rooms, she says, is recognising that the people around the boardroom table are just as flawed and insecure as everyone else. Approaching them with what she calls a hero halo complex, treating them as untouchable, only diminishes your own power. Understanding their agenda and their humanity does more for your influence than trying to out-argue them.
Why Sheryl Miller Is Walking Away From Social Media
Despite being visibly active on LinkedIn, including regular LinkedIn Lives, Miller says she has a strange relationship with social media. She left Facebook years ago, calling it too angry and too negative, and her last Instagram post was in 2023. Her core objection is that social media algorithms amplify negativity and disagreement, which she considers unhealthy and, in her words, wrong.
She stays on LinkedIn mainly for work, and because she believes there is a need for more moderate voices willing to hold nuance, particularly in the inclusion and diversity space. She describes recognising her instinctive reaction to disagreement online, getting her hackles up, and then deliberately choosing a more reflective, respectful response instead, including taking disagreements offline through direct messages rather than public arguments. One exchange that could have spiralled into conflict became, instead, a genuine and positive conversation once she paused her first, glib reply and responded with more care.
Learning to Say No: Ego, People-Pleasing and Curating a Life
Miller is candid that saying no has been one of the hardest and most persistent lessons of her career. She points to two honest reasons: socialisation as a woman to please people, and ego, the belief that she is uniquely positioned to help, when in reality plenty of other people have equal or better skills for the job.
She describes stepping back from long-standing commitments, including judging roles and awards, once she recognised they were no longer serving her. Getting clarity on a five-year goal, she says, has made it far easier to know what to say yes to and what to decline. She frames this as moving out of an exploration era into a focus era, a natural phase after years of trying different things, from non-executive work to trustee roles to running a business.
The DEI Backlash and Why the Work Isn't Going Away
Miller does not shy away from the current backlash against diversity, equity and inclusion work. She is candid that the profession itself carries some responsibility, pointing to a lack of grace in how calling out or calling in is sometimes practised, including private messages being screenshotted and posted publicly. She argues this damages the credibility of the whole space.
Her core argument for why the work continues regardless of political sentiment is what she calls the genie being out of the bottle. Younger employees now expect fair treatment and access as a baseline, in a way earlier generations did not. That expectation will not reverse because a public figure declares DEI dead. It is one reason she has shifted her energy towards supporting employee resource groups directly, seeing them as best placed to keep doing the work from inside organisations even when leadership teams waver.
What's Next: Immersive Retreats Over Public Reflection
Miller deliberately avoids narrating her own struggles and achievements in public, distinguishing that from what she calls trauma dumping. She shares parts of herself when it is natural and relevant, for example around family history or mental health awareness, but resists performing vulnerability to manufacture connection, a pattern she has seen backfire badly at networking events built around forced disclosure.
Her focus for the next phase of her career is immersive, in-person experiences: retreats and residential training, including work with employee resource group leaders, designed to give people space away from their daily environment to reflect, gain clarity and reset direction. She believes there is nothing as powerful as removing people from their usual context to help them think differently about their challenges.
