Hello Reader,
"You are not ready to be with me."
Those were the words my wife—then girlfriend—said to me as she walked away, about 22 years ago. We were at university, still young, in a relationship, and yet, I was one foot in and one foot out. She saw it. She named it. And she refused to tolerate it.
The first thought that ran through my mind was How dare she?
Followed by: Does she even know who I am?
And then came a wave of thoughts—none of them good—until I finally sat with the words she had just said to me. And I asked myself the hard question: Is there any truth to what she’s saying?
The answer was yes.
That truth bomb forced me to confront what I had been avoiding. It was uncomfortable. It stung. But it was necessary. Fast forward to today, and we’ve been happily married for 19 years. I made the right moves, but only because I was willing to sit with that truth, as difficult as it was to hear.
Thinking about that moment got me reflecting on the work I do with leaders.
Part of my role as an executive coach is making leaders uncomfortable—not intentionally most of the time, but by speaking the truth. By naming the thing that others are too afraid to say, but desperately needs to be heard. Because when truth isn’t spoken, when it’s avoided or watered down, it doesn’t just disappear. It lingers. It festers. It impacts others.
I see too many leaders surrounded by people who are passive and agreeable, who avoid hard conversations, who won’t challenge them when they need it most. But real leadership—real growth—demands truth.
Imagine what the workplace would look like if more leaders had the courage to speak truth to each other. If instead of skirting around issues, we leaned in and said the silent thing out loud.
The truth is uncomfortable because it challenges the version of ourselves that feels safe. It forces us to confront what we’d rather ignore. But without it, we stay stagnant.
So, I’ll ask you:
- Do you have people in your life who tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear?
- Are you surrounding yourself with voices that challenge you, not just those that comfort you?
- Are you willing to sit with uncomfortable truths, rather than reject them?
Because the truth doesn’t go away just because you avoid it.
The moment you face it is the moment you create the possibility for change.