What my 16-year-old taught me about leadership

Good Morning Reader

Yesterday, I watched my sixteen year old daughter preach at church as part of a youth takeover. The entire service was led by twelve to eighteen year olds, from hosting to worship to delivering the message. They stood in front of more than a thousand people and carried the whole room with confidence, courage, and heart.

As a dad, I was proud.
As an exec coach, I was reminded of something deeper.

Watching her up there, nervous but willing, brought me back to a 360 I ran for a leader years ago. Her team had given very honest feedback. They said she refused to delegate. She never gave them opportunities to stretch. She carried everything herself. They felt micromanaged, underused, and invisible.

When I confronted her with this, she replied quickly.
“They lack experience. I cannot trust them with more responsibility.”

So I asked her the question that changed everything:
“How will they ever gain experience if you never give them the opportunity?”

Silence.

It reminded me of when I first started my career. I remember companies telling me I needed more experience, but none of them were willing to give it to me. How is that ever supposed to work? Someone, somewhere, has to take a chance on you.

People learn through action.
People grow through mistakes.
People rise when they are given permission to step forward.

A leader’s job is not to protect the work.
A leader’s job is to prepare the people.

My daughter will take confidence from that church experience, even though she was nervous. She will apply it to her school presentations. She will stretch because she has now been stretched.

That is the whole point.
Exposure creates expansion.
Opportunity creates growth.

And that manager I coached?
Her real fear was not that her team would fail.
Her real fear was that they would succeed so well that she would no longer feel needed.

It is a fear many leaders carry but rarely admit.
But fear is not leadership.
Control is not leadership.
Clinging is not leadership.

Leadership is releasing.
Leadership is trusting.
Leadership is raising others to stand where you stand.

The moment she understood that, everything changed. She started delegating projects. She created space for her team to lead meetings. She let them take ownership while she stepped back.

Not only did her team grow, they enjoyed work more.
They became more confident, more ambitious, and more engaged.
And she grew as well.

She gained visibility because she was no longer buried in the detail. She started building stronger relationships with senior colleagues. She was seen as a leader, not a manager buried in tasks.

This pattern is not new. It shows up everywhere - in business, in ministry, in families, in sports. Anywhere people are being developed rather than just deployed.

So here is what I want you to do this week:

Identify one task or responsibility you are currently holding that someone on your team could do at 70% of your capability. Not perfectly. Not as well as you. But well enough.

Then give it to them. Fully. Not as a test. Not with you hovering. Hand it over, explain the outcome you need, and step back.

Yes, they might stumble. Yes, it might take longer at first. Yes, you could do it faster yourself.

But that is the entire point. You are not delegating to save yourself time this week. You are investing time now to build capacity for the future.

One responsibility. One person. This week.

That is how succession starts. Not with grand plans or formal programmes. With small, intentional acts of trust.

That is what real leadership looks like.

So let me ask you today:

Where are you still clinging to control because it makes you feel safe?
Who in your team is ready for more, but you are still holding them back?
What opportunities are you blocking because you fear becoming replaceable?
And who could rise if you simply trusted them and stepped aside a little?

If you are not building successors, you are not leading.
You are protecting a role instead of developing a legacy.

The leaders who will thrive in what's coming aren't the ones who have it all figured out.

They're the ones brave enough to tell the truth.